


I'll Dress So Fine

by mysticanni



Series: The Real Life [3]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Crossdressing, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Unrequited Love, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 17:36:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20429834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysticanni/pseuds/mysticanni
Summary: Miami, Freddie, John and Brian take Roger(ina) out for a drink.





	I'll Dress So Fine

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure this is going to be quite what anyone was expecting (it certainly hasn't gone as I expected it to) so I hope it's not too much of a disappointment for y'all...
> 
> I don't think this will make much sense without reading the other parts first.
> 
> Please heed the tags and avoid this if you think it might upset you.

They sat around the kitchen table drinking tea. ‘You’re staring, Fred,’ Roger said wearily. ‘Have I got something on my face?’

  
To everyone’s surprise, Freddie blushed. ‘I’m just trying to imagine you dressed as a woman, dear,’ he confessed.

  
Roger grinned. ‘You’d be amazed!’

  
Freddie beamed at him. ‘Would you do it, dearest? Would you let us dress you up as a woman and take you out?’

  
Miami almost choked on his tea. ‘If you do, then can I come?’ he heard himself ask.

  
‘Of course, darling, everyone’s welcome!’ Freddie’s eyes searched Roger’s face. ‘What do you say, Roger, dear? Do we have a date?’

  
They all jumped as Brian slammed his fist onto the table. Miami’s tea-cup rattled on its saucer. ‘You can’t!’ Brian spluttered. ‘I won’t allow it!’

  
‘You won’t allow what, exactly, Brian?’ John asked coolly.

  
‘We can’t dress Roger up like a doll!’ Brian was pulling at his hair.

  
Roger reached across the table and clasped both of Brian’s hands in his own. ‘Calm down, please, love.’

  
Brian pulled his hands away roughly. ‘I can’t believe you even suggested it, Fred!’ he raged, ‘Roger was abused!’

  
Miami shoved his chair back, ‘I should go...’

  
‘Oh, please don’t!’ Roger said. ‘We’re not going to have any secrets from you!’

  
‘Yes, do sit down, dear,’ Freddie said, rather distractedly. ‘Roger liked dressing up, didn’t you, darling?’

  
*

  
Perhaps Roger had liked dressing as a woman, John thought, but he had also told them that he found liking what his abusers forced him to do confusing. Brian might be going the wrong way about making his point but that didn’t mean he didn’t have a valid argument.

  
‘I think what Brian means is that he doesn’t want you to feel pressured into doing this, blondie,’ John suggested.

  
‘I am not pressuring him!’ Freddie objected.

  
‘I can say what I mean myself, thanks, Deaks!’ Brian snapped. ‘And I forbid this!’

  
John sighed.

  
‘You can’t forbid it!’ Freddie cried. ‘We are grown adults, Brimi, not your children!’

  
Brian snorted. ‘If you act like an infant you should expect to be treated like one!’

  
And that, John thought, was rather too much like Ray Foster pointing at Roger in his office and stating that Roger behaved like a five year old who required discipline. ‘You are the one having the temper tantrum, Brian,’ he pointed out.

  
Brian glared at him. Freddie flung himself back in his chair, arms folded defensively across his chest, smirking.

  
‘You are clearly very upset about this, Brian,’ Roger began cautiously, ‘so...’

  
‘So you don’t have to come with us!’ Freddie finished for him.

  
‘I was gonna say that maybe we need to talk about it some more,’ Roger said, looking reproachfully at Freddie.

  
‘I should definitely go,’ Miami said, scraping his chair back again.

  
‘No,’ John said firmly. Miami looked surprised. ‘You ought to hear our stories and then, I think, it would be useful to have another viewpoint when we discuss Freddie’s proposal,’ John explained. ‘We can’t be objective about this.’ He glanced from Freddie to Brian to Roger. ‘Agreed?’

  
*

  
They all agreed. Miami wondered briefly what they would do if he said he did not want to hear their tales, but he supposed he had already told them he was curious; had made it clear he craved their friendship, wanted to be part of their lives (secretly longing to be close to Roger). He also wondered how objective he could be, given his massive crush on Roger; but he could hardly tell them that.

  
*

  
John spoke for all of them, telling their stories without drama. Everyone wept a little. Roger made another pot of tea and brought a box of tissues to the table.

  
Once John had concluded their stories, Brian cried, ‘Now do you see? He can’t possibly be expected to parade in front of us dressed as woman!’

  
‘That is not what I am suggesting!’ Freddie screamed. He slammed his hand flat against the table and Miami’s cup and saucer rattled again.

  
‘Please calm down, both of you,’ Miami requested firmly. He was rather surprised when they both rather sulkily nodded. A little smile from Roger encouraged him. ‘I do understand your concerns, Brian,’ he continued. He was about to say that he could also understand exactly why Freddie wanted to see Roger in a dress but caught himself in time. He reflected again that he was hardly as impartial as John thought.

  
Brian definitely had a point, he thought. Was Miami himself any better than the men who had wanted to dress Roger up; to play with him as if he was a doll? He would never force Roger to do anything, though, he reminded himself. None of them would. ‘Ultimately, the decision must be Roger’s,’ he stated, ‘and I would recommend he is given plenty of time to think about whether he wants to do this or not, plus opportunities to discuss with you all any reservations he has.’

  
‘We would be no better than the paedophiles who raped him if we allow him to do this!’ Brian choked out. He lurched to his feet, toppling over his chair in his haste, and fled from the room, slamming the door behind him.

  
So that had gone just brilliantly.

  
*

  
Miami had gone home. Brian had not returned. Freddie and Roger were snuggled up together in an armchair. ‘D’y’think we should look for him?’ Roger fretted.

  
‘No, dear, let him have his little sulk in peace,’ Freddie advised him. He paused in the act of braiding Roger’s hair. ‘You don’t think I’m like the men who hurt you, darling, do you?’

  
‘Course not, Fred,’ Roger replied. Freddie resumed braiding his hair. ‘I’m not completely sure about it, though,’ Roger continued. ‘I mean, part of me is excited at the thought of it but... It’s not normal, is it?’

  
John perched on the arm of the chair. ‘Society doesn’t regard our love as normal either, Rog. If it makes you feel good, if it feels right, then it’s fine.’ As he said it he thought how simple it was, yet how true. ‘If it makes you feel you are being true to yourself...’

  
‘Thanks, Deaks.’

‘You know, Roggie, darling, I didn’t enjoy being made to do certain... sexual... things when I was younger,’ Freddie said softly, ‘but I do enjoy those things now, with my chosen partners. And I know it’s not exactly the same, but... I’m probably not expressing this very well...’

  
Roger twisted awkwardly in the chair so he could kiss Freddie. ‘I think I know what you are trying to say, Fred. Thank you, too.’

  
*

  
Brian was curled up on the sofa the following morning when Roger, unable to sleep, rose to make tea. Roger hadn’t heard him come in. He would have a crick in his neck from sleeping on the sofa, Roger thought, and he’d be grouchy. He noticed Brian twitch as he filled the kettle with water. ‘Bri, love?’

  
Brian opened his eyes and glared at Roger. ‘Sorry, did I wake you? I couldn’t sleep. Would you like tea?’

  
Roger remained in the kitchen, getting mugs; tea-bags; milk and sugar ready while the kettle came to the boil. He waited to see if Brian would approach him and was relieved when he felt arms snake around his waist.

  
Brian smelt unwashed, stinking of beer and the stale cigarette smoke clinging to his clothes from whatever pubs or clubs he had been hiding in. Roger could still make out a faint trace of the pine scented soap Brian favoured. ‘I love you,’ Roger offered softly. Brian pulled him a little closer. ‘Would you like scrambled eggs, Brimi?’

*

  
‘There you are dear!’ Freddie declared, when he swept into the kitchen in a billow of satin robe and silky hair, ‘Just where have you been skulking all night, Brian, you naughty boy?’

  
‘I think what Freddie is trying to say is that we were worried about you,’ John said, following Freddie into the kitchen and dropping kisses on Roger and Brian’s heads. ‘We missed you,’ he added.

  
‘You’re very adept at telling people what they are trying to say, all of a sudden, John Richard Deacon,’ Freddie said tartly, flinging his arms around Brian. He wrinkled his nose. ‘My nostrils tell me you’ve been in some smoky beer-sodden dive, Brimi.’ He kissed Brian’s temple.

  
Brian cleared his throat. ‘I didn’t mean to worry you.’

  
It was, John knew, as close to an apology as they would get.

  
*

  
John had started to think of what was, after all, simply a suggestion for a night out, as The Proposal. They’d had a busy couple of days: giving interviews and having publicity shots taken, and no one had spoken about The Proposal, but John thought they were all considering it.

  
They had some business meetings with Miami too, discussing what happened next following the dramatic termination of their contract with Ray Foster. At the end of one of these meetings John invited Miami to dinner. He thought it might be easier to broach the subject of The Proposal with Miami present.

  
After all, that had worked so well last time, hadn’t it?

  
*

  
‘Are you doing the cooking, dear?’ Freddie asked as they left the office.

  
John knew he looked horrified. He hadn’t considered the actual dinner aspect of the invitation. ‘Takeaway,’ he decided.

  
Roger linked their arms. ‘I’m glad you’re getting on better with Miami,’ he murmured to John. ‘It’s a good thing I realised you’d given him the address of your dentist that first night.’ He planted a kiss on John’s cheek and skipped off to giggle with Freddie about something.

  
Stunned, John halted. He had thought he had got away with that. Then he grinned, feeling a bubble of happiness and love for Roger, for all of them, swell inside him.

  
*

  
In the end, Miami brought a takeaway and beer. ‘Thanks, Miami,’ Freddie kissed his cheek. ‘Does this make us appalling hosts?’

  
‘It makes Miami part of the family,’ Roger decided, hugging Miami.

  
Once everyone had a plateful of food, John raised the subject of The Proposal. He tried to be casual about it, asking Roger if he had thought about Freddie’s suggestion. ‘I have,’ Roger nodded, sipping his beer, ‘and I’d like to try it.’

  
Freddie clapped his hands delightedly. Miami felt a little flutter of excitement, then realised that he couldn’t possibly go with them on what was, effectively, a date.

  
Brian thumped his glass of beer down onto the table. ‘What happened to talking about it?’ he growled.

  
‘I don’t feel pushed into it,’ Roger assured him. ‘I really want to, Brian, I mean,’ he cast a rather anxious look at Freddie, ‘I’ve never been out in public before dressed like that, and I would only want to go for one drink, I think...’

  
‘Whatever you’re comfortable with, gorgeous!’ Freddie promised him. ‘Oh, this is going to be so much fun! We’ll have to go shopping!’ He eyed Miami thoughtfully and reached over to pat his hand, ‘You can go clothes shopping too, dearest!’

  
‘I can’t intrude on your date,’ Miami objected.

  
‘Nonsense, darling, of course you’re coming with us!’ Freddie reached over and squeezed Miami’s hand. ‘For this venture, we apparently need you to keep the peace, apart from anything else.’

  
*

  
Roger’s fingers nervously tangled momentarily with Freddie’s then fluttered away again. He felt rather overwhelmed. ‘I don’t think I can do this, Fred,’ he muttered, glancing around the shop.

  
Freddie ignored him, holding up a blue dress. ‘This is perfect, dear! The blue matches your eyes.’

  
Miami had not accompanied them on this shopping trip, suggesting that three men shopping for women’s clothing might look rather odd. (‘Yeah, so much more bizarre than two men doing that,’ Brian had snorted.) Freddie had agreed. ‘Meet us for lunch, Miami, and afterwards we can shop for an outfit for you.’

  
It was not as much fun as Roger had expected. Freddie had merrily invented stories about girlfriends with approaching birthdays when they had needed to interact with sales assistants and he was clearly enjoying the shopping trip very much, but Roger felt rather awkward.

  
He had liked choosing lingerie, though. They had, perhaps, got a little bit carried away there, as Roger would now have several choices of undergarments. Freddie had assured him, eyes gleaming, that they definitely needed everything they had purchased.

  
Roger tensed, as a sales assistant steamed towards them now. ‘May I be of assistance?’ she asked, looking at them rather suspiciously.

  
‘I’m looking for a gift for my girlfriend,’ Freddie informed her. ‘My girlfriend is Roger, here’s, twin sister. They look very alike. I thought the colour would match her eyes.’

  
Roger was mortified. The sales assistant beamed at Freddie. ‘Goodness, yes! Such a good colour, if they have the same colouring?’ Freddie assured her they did. ‘I wonder, now...There’s a rather lovely sea-green frock... Perhaps a slight contrast would be good...’

  
And despite feeling awkward and out of place, Roger loved the sea-green dress. He felt his excitement for the project re-ignite.

  
‘Why, you’d look lovely in it yourself, m’dear!’ the sales assistant cooed, laughing at her own joke and patting Roger’s arm.

  
*

  
Roger fiddled with his bra’ strap. He bit his lip in sudden indecision. Freddie wouldn’t make him go out, he knew, if he said he had changed his mind. He didn’t think he could bear the look of disappointment he was sure he would see flit across Freddie’s face though. He jumped as someone knocked on the door.

  
He had asked to be left alone to get ready. He had always asked Mr. Dress-Up Man and his friends to leave him alone to change. Feeling good for that brief moment before he was their toy again had helped, a little. He had always enjoyed that. Painting his nails neatly gave him quiet satisfaction, admiring their glossy shine. He enjoyed soaking in a hot scented bath, shaving his legs. He liked the feel of the clothes, savouring putting on each article, adjusting the bra’ and the tights or stockings, carefully fastening buttons, taking his time, revelling in the transformation. Applying make-up was part of the same alchemy: watching in the mirror as this secret self revealed herself.

  
‘Rog?’ It was John at the door. ‘Are you okay, love?’

  
Roger padded to the door, shoes dangling from one hand, and opened it. John’s jaw dropped. ‘You look beautiful,’ he said simply, after a moment.

  
*

  
Brian had been brooding. Well, sulking, John thought, but sulking with such ferocious intensity that brooding seemed a more fitting description. He scowled as John escorted Roger into the sitting-room but then looked as if his brain had short-circuited. John knew how he felt. He found himself hoping that the sight of Roger might trip Brian’s mood-reset button.

  
*

  
Miami gulped. Roger’s hair fell in soft glossy waves around his expertly made-up face. The make-up seemed to make his eyes pop. Miami ached to kiss his lip-gloss off. His dress ended just above his knees and when he slipped on the high-heeled shoes he had been carrying his legs looked amazing. ‘You look wonderful!’ Miami blurted out, then blushed. He wondered, despairingly, if they all knew about his pathetic crush on Roger and pitied him for it.

  
*

  
[Roger knew, of course. Miami didn’t know why he had expected anything else. This was Roger, who could read the tensions and emotional undercurrents in any room he stepped into. Of course he knew.

  
Miami had known them for a few years when he discovered that his secret was well known to Roger.

  
Roger was ill. They were on tour, staying in a hotel. Miami had taken Roger into his own hotel room to allow the others to get some sleep in their suite. He had spent most of the night in the bathroom with Roger, holding his sweaty tangle of hair off his face as he vomited, crouched over the toilet bowl.

  
Roger vomited; Miami gently wiped his mouth and held a glass of water to his lips for him to sip from. Then they repeated those actions again and again in a seemingly endless loop.

  
Roger groaned and flopped back against Miami, who was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bath. ‘You’re okay, angel,’ Miami murmured wearily. Then he snapped to attention: had he said ‘angel’ out loud?

  
Apparently he had and the angel in question was studying him with his big blue eyes. ‘Even now?’ Roger asked quietly. ‘When I’m disgusting?’

  
Miami sighed. ‘It doesn’t seem to make any difference,’ he said. ‘I seem to love you anyway.’

  
Roger gazed at him. ‘I...Would you...? Would you let me know if...? Miami, I would never hurt you intentionally, not for the world. Will you let me know if I’m making it worse?’ He lurched over to the toilet to throw-up again before Miami could respond.

  
Miami gently rubbed his back. ‘You’re just... you. I don’t think you could make it worse,’ he said, feeling rather awkward. ‘Not... It’s bittersweet.’

  
‘I do love you,’ Roger said. ‘I’m sorry it’s not in the way you want me to.’

  
‘Can’t be helped,’ Miami shrugged.

  
Roger brushed his fingertips over Miami’s cheek. ‘I couldn’t do it if the others didn’t agree to it, of course, but if it would help then I think I could persuade them for one night...’

  
There was a long pause. Then Roger was sick again. Once he had sipped some water Miami cradled him in his arms. ‘That is incredibly kind of you, Roger, but on the whole I think better not. That might make it worse.’

  
He wondered if he would regret it. Roger seemed to read his mind. ‘Let me know if you change your mind and I’ll ask them.’]

  
*

  
‘Give us a twirl, angel!’ Freddie commanded.

  
Brian cleared his throat. ‘I’m still not comfortable with this,’ he snapped, ‘but I’m going to come along to make sure you are all safe.’

  
Roger looked rather panicked. ‘We are only going for one drink!’ His voice was rather shrill.

  
John nodded. ‘Yes,’ he confirmed, ‘one drink.’ He caught part of the fabric of Roger’s dress between his thumb and forefinger. ‘And then back here...’ His eyes raked over Roger.

  
Miami hoped the dress had not been too expensive because he suspected it would be getting ripped off Roger the second they came back through the door. He would be making his way home directly from the bar, then, he supposed.

  
Freddie tied a silver scarf around Roger’s throat. ‘This will hide your Adam’s apple...’ He also cautioned Roger to speak as little as possible. Roger had playfully batted his eyelashes at this instruction. ‘Minx,’ Freddie huffed.

  
*

  
Freddie had chosen a more up-market bar than the public house on the corner of the street that they usually frequented. Brian had grumbled about the expense and Roger thought, fleetingly, of the lingerie bill Brian hadn’t seen yet. He felt a flutter of nerves as they approached the bar. What if someone realised? He halted.

  
‘Rog?’ John gently took his hand. ‘You okay?’

  
‘I don’t know if I can do this.’

  
‘You don’t have to, then,’ John assured him softly.

  
And that was all he needed to hear, apparently. ‘No, we’re here now. Let’s do this.’

  
He allowed John to escort him inside.

  
*

  
Freddie had chosen well, John thought, as they slid into a discreet booth, with Roger in the middle flanked by John and Brian on one side and Freddie and Miami on the other. John snaked his arm around Roger’s waist. ‘Shall we order champagne?’ Miami asked brightly, ‘My treat.’

  
*

  
It was more than one drink, of course, and Roger had known it would be, realistically, and that was okay and no one had looked suspiciously at him, so that was fine, wasn’t it, and he had received some admiring glances so that was... He was not sure what that was. Because he always received admiring glances; people lusting after him.

  
Like the shopping trip, it was less fun than he had expected. He was mistaken for a woman in bars all the time anyway, and having to be careful when talking where others could hear him was a bit of a pain.

  
Their reactions when they had first seen him, though...

  
That had been worth it.

  
Next time, if there was a next time, he wondered if he should allow them to help him get ready. Freddie had been so exhilarated when they had gone on their shopping trip that Roger thought he would revel in helping Roger get dressed. Or perhaps he could let one of them assist and then savour the looks on the faces of the others when he was revealed. This was different, after all: they loved him. Perhaps he should relinquish some control over the part of the process he enjoyed the most instead of hoarding it like treasure solely for his own pleasure. He was not entirely sure he was ready for that yet, though.

  
*

  
John had gone to the loo so Roger was currently draped over Brian. He walked his fingers up Brian’s chest. Brian had left a lot of his shirt buttons undone. He leaned in to murmur in Brian’s ear, ‘Are you still totally against this, Brimi?’

Brian grinned, and whispered. ‘I could possibly be persuaded.’ Then his face darkened and Roger regretted asking. ‘I don’t want to be like them...’

  
Roger kissed him. ‘You’re not like them. You could never be like them. You love me.’

  
‘Yes,’ Brian agreed, ‘I do.’

  
Roger gave a contented hum and nuzzled Brian’s earlobe. Brian tutted and gently pushed him off. Freddie claimed him. ‘Are you enjoying yourself, lovely?’ He kissed Roger without waiting for a reply.

  
‘I am,’ Roger answered once released, ‘but I’d like to go home now, please.’

  
Freddie opened his mouth to persuade him to stay longer then felt fingers close around his wrist. He looked over and found Miami gazing intently at him. ‘You promised,’ Miami reminded Freddie in a low voice, ‘whatever he was comfortable with, and no more.’

  
Really, Freddie thought, sometimes Miami’s crush on Roger was terribly inconvenient but on the other hand... ‘Yes, why don’t we get you home, angel! You can slip into something a little more comfortable...’

  
Brian looked like he would like to strip Roger there and then at the table. The intensity of his gaze was rather un-nerving, Miami thought.

  
John arrived back at the table. ‘We’re leaving, Deaky, darling!’ Freddie announced.

  
John was clearly also already mentally undressing Roger, who slid out of the booth and hugged Miami, ‘Thank you,’ he murmured, ‘and I’m terribly sorry, but I think we might be leaving you to pay the bill....’

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far, thanks for reading! :)


End file.
